The Sound and the Furious Tummy

I didn’t go to school today. I woke up around 2 am to a gargling stomach. Going to the bathroom to relieve the situation didn’t help any, as I was repeatedly called back to the toilet about every 1 to 2 hours until about 6 am (but I’ve returned to the room a lot since then). I didn’t get any sleep, and to make matters worse, the chorus of Andy Kim’s number 1 hit from 1974, “Rock Me Gently,” kept playing in my head. I’d heard it at work a few days ago, and while riding in the car Monday night, I discovered that Andy Kim—not Neil Diamond—is the singer/songwriter on the track. Look it up and listen for yourself. Tell me he doesn’t sound like Neil Diamond.

Anyway, the physical discomfort I was feeling was matched by the imaginary aural distress the song inflicted upon me. For the first time that I can recall, I wanted to bash my head against the wall. Worst of all, I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for me to get the wretched song out of my mind. Eventually, I did, though. I began hearing “Getting Away With It” by the 1990s supergroup Electronic; it’s one of my favorite songs of all time. And while it did calm me down, the more I thought about it, the more nervous I became that its association with my chronic diarrhea would forever spoil it for me. But now I realize that such a memory might only enhance its soothing powers.

I’ve been walking in the rain just to get wet on purpose…